Dad, you showed me something deeper than anything I’d ever seen before. You gave us a clue of what’s bigger than the physical things we see and touch. There’s something bigger here that I’d been missing. All the physical stuff changes, but there’s something underneath it that stays the same. Truth is I could toss all my identities in the wind. They’re all going to change anyway.
Gendered Basketball
One evening after dinner at one of the yoga centers I lived at, a bunch of us went off to play basketball. There was a group of guys that played regularly that staked out the main hoop in the gym. They were all close to six feet tall, and they were good players. A bit later a…
Why am I Writing this Blog?
For almost two years, I had the life-changing opportunity to live at two different yoga centers, meditating a lot and connecting to my inner Self. They were set in remote, natural beauty on top of mountains and surrounded by forests. The air was clear, silence was present, and life was simple though profound. I slept…
Please Don’t Keep Me Waiting
I sit before you in your office chair for my first consultation. My mom sits next to me, and tension is high. We don’t know what to expect; we are jumping off the highest cliff I’ve ever seen.
3 months ago, I finally told my mom I’m a boy. She looked at me wide-eyed with no understanding. She looked confused, sad, angry, afraid, a whole mess of many things.
I Need You to See
Something in me wants to be better than you so it can feel good enough. It sees a world of limits, a world where there’s only so much worth to go around. It’s deep in some dark corner inside me. I don’t want it to be there, actually I hate that it’s there. So I…
Mirrors Shattering
In this new job, I get to hear lots of stories of youth transitioning. I see myself mirrored through them and watch myself as I transitioned 3 years ago. They show me the pain I haven’t let go of, the vulnerability I tried to leave behind as soon as I could “pass” as a man….
Breaking Out
It’s prom night, spring of 2002. I shave my legs for the third time ever and wear a decent black dress I found that’s not too frilly. Doable. Hair’s out of the ponytail and down on my neck. We had a soccer game this afternoon, so all my teammates are getting ready together. Someone puts…
transpiritual 