White supremacy is older than the America it founded. Living as a parasite, feeding on white insecurity, it has covered up our very divinity. This second skin of hatred and murder has strangled us silently since before our bodies existed. Generations have fought this bloodsucking beast; our bravest leaders giving their lives only to have…
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The Next Big Leap
The next big leap is coming. It is near. I see the cliff beyond which I have never been. I see it ahead, just two weeks away now. The cliff looks high and scary. The ground I have known ends, and then there is only air. But far beyond that, I see a beautiful land,…
5am
I wake up at 5am drenched in worries. I’m scheduled to have bottom surgery in exactly two months, and I just heard an alarming story at work about a young transwoman who was treated terribly by the nursing staff where she recovered from bottom surgery. Will that happen to me, my mind asks? What if…
Drops of Life
I am waterproof, and time is rain. The droplets drop all around me, fall on my skin, and wash away. Nothing stays, nothing even clings anymore. Each moment comes, in light showers and heavy downpours they come. Dropping on my skin and all around me, they’re falling off. I try to catch them, but they…
Begin Again
I turn on my computer to write, but the battery’s dead. Like my own battery, slowly depleted from a year and a half of the hustle and bustle of city life. Always rushing around, my senses have gone into hiding to compensate for way more bright lights, colors, and sounds than they could ever truly…
Angels
The background a tired gray, the dull pain of a town long forgotten. The heartache of loneliness, unfinished dreams, and sore muscles, where familiarity reigned as the main source of comfort.
In this unexpected scene she appeared. A flash of red, like an angel, just for a moment.
Be Bigger, See Bigger
“A husband and wife should be loyal to each other and try to make each other happy in every way… Today, we’re talking about finding God in family life. We’re talking about selflessness and how the husband can care for the wife and the wife for the husband…” Sitting in the temple, my gut tightens…
City of Acceptance
Driving in traffic, bumper to bumper, and a big truck cuts me off, beeping loud like why do I even exist. We all inch forward at stops and starts, getting madder by the second. I watch one guy talking and gesturing angrily on his car phone. Another guy in a fancy sports car shakes his…
Daily Practice
The morning had begun fine, just like any other. I had rolled out of bed and walked to the bathroom to brush my teeth, while thinking about the day to come. Thinking about what work shifts I had today, who I might see, and excited about what I might eat. So quickly though, those mundane…
The Storms
When my dad died, the storms came again. I hid in my basement apartment in Chicago as the biggest storms of my life raged outside my windows every day. Sometimes they brought intimidating dark clouds to greet me, and other days they roared in with full wind and hail, shaking my apartment and threatening mass…
Path to Forgiveness
“It takes about six months to get in, because our doctors are so busy,” a woman tells us on a conference call at work. Her tone is matter of fact as she explains how the trans youth clinic functions at the hospital she works at. “The families come in and meet with a psychologist and…
What does it feel like to be misgendered and/or misnamed?
I think maybe people don’t know what it feels like when they call me by my old name, the legal one I was born with, or when they use the wrong pronouns. So maybe I can explain it to you. Every time someone calls me by my birth name or calls me “he”, a sharp pain hits me hard.
transpiritual 